Ok since I'm not prepared to deal with this at work yet, I figured I'd blog about it first and get some feed back IF anyone reads this post.
So theres this old guy at my job. Lets call him Mr. Creepo, simply because he creeps me the hell out.
Mr Creepo sits in an office next to me at work and Mr. Creepo is a very friendly and talk-a-tive old man.
It all started back in April on my birthday when my boss bought me a cake to work and I was cutting everyone a piece at my desk. He came over to get a piece and leaned in to hug me and kissed me unexpectedly on my cheek and said "Happy birthday Terrica". It caught me completely off guard and literally made me sick to my stomach. Not to mention he left a lil bit of spit on my cheek.....WHAT THE HELL? I was so grossed out. But I smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat and said thank you and let it go. I just figured he's just being nice. After that Mr. Creepo seemed to be more comfortable with me. He started complimenting me everyday when I cam in. He would come up to my desk and say good morning and say my hair looked nice and that I had a sexy hair cut. This went on daily for the next couple of months and since the past two weeks he started something that I can't stand. One morning he came to my desk and complimented my hair once again. OK PEOPLE my hair pretty much looks the same every day. Its not how it is in the picture above, its a shorter cut but it looks the same every day. So I don't think I need to be complimented on it every single damn day. So that morning after complimenting my hair again Mr. Creepo said I make his heart throb and his sticks his hand in his shirt between the buttons and pretends to make the gesture that his heart is pounding through his shirt and opens mouth and pants for breaths. The first time he did it I laughed. But when he stopped at my desk every morning and did it, it really started grossing me out. So now I roll my eyes at him when he does it. You would think that my face expression would be enough for him to get the point that he's getting on my nerves but he hasn't caught on to that.
If I were you, I'd write him a letter explaining how his actions are making you feel. I wouldn't write it if you're upset at the time. I've found that I can always stay more polite when I'm writing a letter, rather than talking to that person face to face.
ReplyDeleteIf you write a calm, polite letter to him addressing the issues, you could save a copy of it to present it to higher ups if he doesn't stop after learning that you don't like the way he is acting towards you. If after you tell him that he is making you really uncomfortable, you could let someone know that you've politely asked him to stop and he hasn't and that it needs to be taken care of.
He seems to be, in his own way, an older gentleman who may just be lonely. He may be completely unaware of the fact that you don't find his actions "cute" or acceptable.
I'm sorry you're going through this. *hugs* I hope it all works out for you hun.
Thanks for the advice. I will give that some thought. I just hate that I even have to deal with this crap.
DeleteOh gosh, I feel uncomfortable for you! It seems as though he used your b-day as a "feel-her" (pun intended), to see how'd you react and to see if he could go further, which he now has. I agree with you, I definitely think it goes against professionalism in the workplace, and needs to be addressed. But I agree with other commenters about first expressing yourself to him (verbally and/or literally) before filing sexual harassment. It gives him the opportunity to refrain from these types of actions and gestures before legalities are taken. There's no going back for either of you once the paperwork gets rolling, and like you said the process may be tedious, but may be avoided by addressing the issue with him first. If it has to go any further than that, management may want to know if and when you've taken any steps to let him know what he's doing bothers you. I so wish you well, that's an uncomfortable position to be in personally and professionally. Oh, and if you decide to give him verbal feedback, maybe practicing what you'll say beforehand should help. Keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteyou can't claim harrasment if you dont let them know its a problem first.
ReplyDeleteyou don't have to be "polite" just simply say I don't like that and dont do it again......he will get the point
@ Nek, thanks for your advice cuzin.
Delete@ Unknown, I think I will do just that.