Ramblings of A Celibate Chick: Character Flaws & All

Its not easy to own up to your flaws. I have several that I'm OK with sharing today. I developed these character/ personality flaws while being single, and I've come to accept the fact that my life is the way it is because I have not chosen to make a change in my life in the way that I see and deal with things.

I recently watched a christian video that talked about how to get a man gods way. The video called out some points that I know all too well. After my 3rd year of being single I began feeling a little impatient on waiting for Mr Right. by the 5th year of being single I was completely upset that I hadn't found a man that I started doing things like:

Being Jealous when I see any type of couple together. I would say to myself " Now why does she have a man and I don't"
Putting down all men. Since so many broke my heart I pretty much just considered all men to be the same.
Saying things like "I can't live my life without a man."
Not living. I haven't bought a house because I've been waiting to buy one with my husband.

These are just a few that I'm not ashamed to admit. These are also the only character flaws I know I can work hard to change.

Over the last two years I've already begun to change some of these. The first and easiest to change was number 2. I know that all men aren't dogs....only the ones that broke my heart lol. Its not fair to put down one man for another mans faults. The second one I changed is number 1. It took a few years to get over this, and to be able to watch movies without crying every 30 min. To talk about it now sounds so pathetic lol, but its the truth. I couldn't stand the sight of another couple, and I couldn't stand anyone talking about their partner. Now I'm the nosey one asking all of the questions lol.

As for 3 and 4 these are two flaws that are still in progress of change. I will say that 3 is almost complete. To get over the fact of saying I can't live without a man, means I have to completely except my situation and be thankful and happy for the things I do have. And to be happy no matter what. It's only difficult because I've never been one of those chicks that enjoys being alone. I want what the average woman wants. A Husband, a big family and happiness till the end of my days. As for 4 there are some restrictions that are currently holding me back on buying my own house other than waiting for my husband. One is my credit. Its pretty bad right now and I'm working on getting it better. Even if I was in a relationship I wouldn't want to go into my marriage with my debt. That's not fair to him. And I had to get out of the mind set that owning a home is only for FAMILIES. A single woman can own a 5 bedroom house if she chooses to. These are just a few of my flaws and I accept them and working to change them to better my future and to see my dreams come true.